Since I shared my twins news, most have been supportive and excited. Some have understood my anxiety. A few have said really annoying, strange, irrelevant, or unhelpful things. I found it therapeutic to compile these comments as one big list. Together, they are funny and easy to deflect.
- I know a lady who had twins. One of them died.
- How do you really know there are two? I mean, maybe you're just really big.
- So you're going to quit your job, right? Because working at a church while they're little wouldn't be fair to anyone.
- Oh. I didn't know you guys were having fertility issues.
- It'll be easy because you have family in town. My sister didn't.
- Is it possible for one of them to come out fine and the other one to get into trouble in there? Because I was watching a TV show about baby eagles the other day and that's what happened to them.
- Better soak up every moment you've got left with just Jasper!
- Well, you won't be able to breastfeed. That would be crazy.
- This is so typical of female pastors.
- Sleep while you can!
- Wow. And Jasper's not potty trained yet? He's totally going to regress when they're born.
- Are you going to keep your job? (x10) Then I try to decide whether I'm going to launch into a feminist tirade about how no one is asking Matt if he's going to quit his job.
I'm just lucky that my closest friends and family don't say this stuff. And my congregation is wildly supportive. In fact, most of the people expressing their unhelpful opinions don't know me all that well.
And that is the grace that makes deflecting this stuff easy.
Because they just might have a list floating around out there, too. ;-)